


Predilection for Sunrises

by ErRose



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Secret Marriage, married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-10
Packaged: 2019-09-06 20:48:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16840153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErRose/pseuds/ErRose
Summary: "Spock never understood the human desire to arise early to watch the sun break its way over the horizon, but he thought that maybe he was beginning to see the appeal."Spock and Kirk finally admit their feelings, and decide to get married, but are forced to keep it from the crew.





	1. Chapter 1

Spock never understood the human desire to arise early to watch the sun break its way over the horizon, but he thought that maybe he was beginning to see the appeal. Jim adored sunrise and Spock liked seeing Jim’s face light up as the world around them was illuminated in color. Every time they were on a new planet overnight, Jim woke while it was still dark outside, and found a place where he could see as much of the sky as possible and waited patiently for the star-or sometimes stars- to climb its way up into the sky. When Spock realized his feelings toward the captain were of a romantic nature, he began asking to accompany him. It surprised Jim, but he told Spock that he would very much enjoy the company. It quickly became routine. They would meet early and find the best viewing area- the place never mattered much to Spock. Truth be told he hardly ever actually watched the sky. His focus was instead on Jim. His body language, the way his eyes brightened when the light began to make an early appearance, it all fascinated him. They never talked as they waited for the colors to explode across the horizon; an easy silence was part of the routine. That is, it was until one day when the cloud coverage had been more than expected and the sun was up with hardly a change in the lighting. Jim sat, still staring at the spot where the sun should have been when Spock said “Jim, I am afraid I cannot keep doing this,”  
“One bad sunrise is really going to make you never watch another one again?” Kirk teased back.  
“That is,” he hesitated, “not the reason,”  
“Is everything okay, Spock?” concern laced in his voice.  
He took a moment to arrange his sentence, “I have recently realized that I think of you in a manner somewhat inappropriate for an officer to think of his Captain,”  
Kirk threw a grin and a wink in Spock’s direction, “That could be taken in more than one way, you know,” he teased, not understanding what his first officer was trying to say. In a more serious tone, he added, “What do you mean by that?”  
“I believe I should put in for a transfer as soon as possible,”  
“Transfer? Why? Where is this coming from?” He suddenly sounded almost desperate. He reached out to touch Spock’s hand, but pulled it back, remembering Spock’s aversion to being touched.  
“It would be unfair to you to have to live and work with someone who… thinks of you in that manner,”  
“Spock, if I’m to lose my best officer, my best friend, I want to know why,”  
“Captain,” he stopped himself, “Jim, I… Sir, as a Vulcan, this does not come easily. However, I often find myself… wanting you- your presence that is- in any context you will have me, whether that be leader, friend, or… or a relationship that exceeds the standard boundaries of friendship between officers,” He kept his eyes fixed on the ground, refusing to look at Jim. “I also recognize, however, the uncomfortable position I have put you in by telling you this- hence the request for transfer,”  
Jim closed the gap between them, gently turned Spock’s face toward his own, and rose on his toes to bring their lips together, softly cupping his sharp jaw in both hands. Spock froze for just a moment, before returning the kiss eagerly, wrapping his hands around the small of Jim’s back and bringing their chests flush against each other.  
Jim pulled away, eyes still closed, and chuckled. “Spock, I have loved you ever since I saw you for the very first time. I never considered- Spock, I’m loud, and messy, and so goddam emotional. Are you sure this is something you want? Because I can handle being nothing more than friends with you, but I’m afraid that once I have you, losing you would break me. Damage me beyond repair,”  
“There are still Starfleet regulations forbidding relationships of this nature,” Neither had let go or tried to pull away. They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms, foreheads touching.  
“Who’s going to tell? The crew doesn’t need to know,” he whispered as if convincing himself as much as Spock. Spock smiled at him and Jim’s face lit up, each of them witnessing their own personal sunrise.

Months passed and it was infuriating to Jim to have to keep it bottled up. He wanted to proclaim his adoration on shipwide communications. He wanted to have the whole galaxy know that he was Spock’s and that Spock was his. That they just belonged together. In spite of the loud unabashed love they felt, they were forced to steal vulcan kisses in the corridors and human kisses in closets. They used their shared bathroom as something of a private hallway. Making a show outside of Jim’s quarters of saying a professional and platonic good night before each going through their own doors for anyone who might be passing; then slipping through the secret passageway. At first it was just to spend more time together- playing chess, discussing the day, complaining about Starfleet- and ending the night with an almost chaste kiss before sleeping in their own beds.  
Until one night, in Spock’s room, in Jim’s resistance to leave and end his private time with Spock, he accidentally nodded off mid conversation while lounging on Spock’s bed. Spock laid a blanket over top of him, and burrowed himself under the covers that were quickly warming from Jim’s body heat. They woke up a mass of tangled limbs after a night of subconsciously trying to get closer.  
When Jim stirred awake, he was embarrassed. Embarrassed of having fallen asleep, by the closeness, by the stiffness in his pants. Spock soothed him with feather light kisses and assured him he had nothing to be ashamed of. After that night, without much discussion they began sleeping in the same bed. Some nights, in Spock’s quarters, some in Kirk’s. It didn’t matter where they were, the thrill of being together never wore off.  
Together in his quarters, they sat on Spock’s bed, Spock in pajamas and Jim in nothing but boxers, but not quite ready for sleep. Jim had undone some of Spock’s shirt buttons and was trailing his hand through the dark hair there, causing Spock to shiver with love and an emotion he was still largely unfamiliar with, but appreciated just the same. Lust. It was different from love, more intense and more fleeting, but close.  
“Spock” Jim whispered “I never want to know life without you,”  
“Nor I you, Ashaym,” He pulled him in even closer, as if the mere mention of a life without Jim made him want to hold tight and never let go.  
“What would you think about… now keep in mind you don’t have to say yes. I know that it’s illogical but I was thinking that maybe-possibly, if you think it’s a good idea-”  
“Tell me what you wish,” Spock nearly purred into his ear.  
“I want to marry you,”  
“Is that all?” Spock asked, the edges of his lips pulling upwards in a small grin. “You made it sound as though you were asking for the impossible,”  
“It’s just that I know it won’t be official in any sense and it won’t change anything. But I want to be able to call you mine. My husband. Even if it’s just between us for now,”  
“My James. If you asked me to find the end of the universe, I would spend the remainder of my life looking, knowing I would never find it, if that was what you wished of me, despite the fact that it would be illogical and fruitless,”  
“Why Spock, you’re turning into a bigger romantic than I am” Jim teased, beaming from ear to ear.  
“Perhaps next time we are on shore leave, we can locate a venue to exchange vows,”  
Jim hummed in agreement and laid his head on Spock’s chest while his arm snaked across his abdomen to rest over Spock’s heart. 

The whole thing was purely ceremonial of course. Nothing was filed with Starfleet, and they couldn’t fulfill the full marriage bond on Vulcan until Spock’s next Pon Farr. Dressed in civilian clothes, not wanting to be recognized as a starship captain and his commander, they bought rings at a local shop. They paid the receptionist of the small but well decorated chapel building and she brought them to a room filled with pews and they were told to select a decoration theme to be projected. Half in irony, and half to make it feel more official, they chose the theme of “Starship”. It projected the illusion of being on the bridge of a generic Starfleet starship, a fact that Spock could not allow to pass without mentioning the inaccuracy that onboard weddings do not take place on the bridge. Jim smiled at this with hearts in his eyes and reached for his hand.  
The ceremony itself was simple; just an exchange of vows laced with declarations of love, and placing rings on each other’s fingers. Spock allowed Jim to place the ring, but after the ceremony was over, he took it off and threaded a chain through the hole and clasped it around his neck. Then Spock put his hand to Jim’s face and pressed his fingers to his psi points, beginning the marriage bond that they would finish on Vulcan. Perhaps it was illogical, but the whole thing was important to Jim, so it was important to Spock. As impractical as it was to hold a ceremony for no one but themselves that served no purpose-well no purpose but Jim’s happiness- he found that he was grateful Jim had suggested it.  
After the ceremony, the two retreated to a room they had rented where they tangled themselves together in varying states of undress for the rest of leave. Leaving the room meant leaving their messy embrace, to pretend once again they were nothing more than friends and coworkers.  
On their first night of wedded bliss, they had been playing a game of chess, even though neither of them could focus their full attention on the pieces. A song came drifting in through the window from the street below. With soft eyes, Jim stared at Spock for a moment before standing and extending his hand.  
“May I have this dance?” Spock’s expression melted and he took his husband’s hand. “Gentlepeople, for the first time as a married couple, and sharing in their first dance together, Captain Kirk and Commander Spock,” Jim said in his best emcee voice.  
Spock cupped his chin with one hand and closed the distance to gently bring their lips together. Jim sighed and smiled against Spock’s lips, and brought their hands together in a Vulcan kiss before clasping them together to sway to the music and press their bodies together. There was nothing different about their relationship now, but it felt special to have this, to be able to call each other husband, to know that they would live out the remainder of their lives together.  
The music from below faded, but they continued their swaying embrace. Jim ran his hand along the skin under Spock’s shirt and he tugged him over to the bed pulling Spock down on top of him.  
“It is our honeymoon after all,”  
“I do intend to make the most of that fact,” Spock growled into Jim’s ear. 

After the shore leave was over, he walked back onto the bridge with his ring on the third finger of his left hand and a smile from ear to ear. The ring was subtle. Nothing more than a gold band, but it might was well have has flashing lights and bells attached because no one could keep their eyes off of it. The crew was used to seeing him smiling. He always seemed to know when one was needed by anyone onboard and willingly gave them freely, even if he himself wasn’t happy. But this smile was different- it was like he was made of pure joy. It shined out of every cell- every molecule- of his being and radiated light throughout the room. Even when he was able to calm the muscles in his face- force them into a neutral expression, the smile and happiness lived on in the bright softness of his eyes. The crew had never seen him so happy-purely and simply happy. Every so often, he would stop what he was doing and run a finger over the cool metal, just to remind himself of the fact that he had managed to marry the smartest and most incredible being he had ever met.  
Chekov eyed Sulu, who gave a subtle shake of the head to say _I don’t know either_. The entire crew was abuzz for a week before anyone even got the nerve to actually ask Kirk about it.  
“So who’s the lucky girl?” a particularly brave yeoman asked casually when she brought him the fuel consumption report.  
“There is no girl, yeoman,” he said with a tone of finality that should have put an end to the conversation.  
“It’s just that your ring- it looks like a wedding band and it’s on the correct fing-”  
“That’s enough yeoman. As I said, there is no girl. It’s simply a ring,”  
“Of course, Captain,” she mumbled. She retold that conversation time and time again over meals to friends making it slightly more dramatic each time. By the time it spread around the ship, the story was that Kirk had screamed at the young girl in an uncharacteristic display of cruelty. It stopped the direct questions to the Captain, but only fanned the fires of curiosity behind who had the matching ring.  
“How are you holding up, Mr. Spock?” Uhura asked toward the end of shift after noticing the sidelong glance he had directed at the Captain’s back.  
“What, exactly, would I be holding up, Lieutenant?”  
She tried and failed to contain an eye roll, “Well, if I’m not overstepping, it’s just that I’ve seen the way you look at the captain. Not everyone can see it, but I can. It must be hard on you seeing him married without explanation,”  
His eyebrow quirked up and his head tilted. He suppressed the grin that tried to form when he thought of the lewd joke Jim would have wanted to make about what was actually hard on him.  
“I hope that wasn’t inappropriate, sir. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,”  
“That’s quite alright, lieutenant. I am under no emotional duress. The Captain seems happy, and that is what matters,”  
“Of course, sir,”  
He stood and sidled up the the captain’s chair where Jim sat with his hand outstretched on the arm, and slipped his first two fingers down to meet Jim’s in a Vulcan kiss. Jim looked up at him, adoration in his eyes, and they shared a private moment in front of the whole crew. Their love flowing effortlessly between them through their fingertips.  
The crew, of course, was oblivious. They had been so wrapped up in the mystery that they never even considered the possibility that the seemingly emotionless Vulcan could even have a love life; or that the captain who wore his heart on his sleeve would be interested in the man who could never fully understand the human predilection to sunrises.

“I’d bet anything it’s Uhura,” said a crewman in the rec room while huddled around a table with a group of friends.  
“No, it must have been a native while on shore leave,” said another.  
“Did anyone even see him at all on the surface? I didn’t see him once,”  
“That’s weird. It wasn’t a big planet,”  
“What? You think he just got married and shacked up with someone the whole time?”  
“It makes sense. He falls head over heels all the time, maybe this one just go out of hand,”  
“He’s too happy for ‘just got out of hand’,”  
“What if he was drugged? Or hypnotized? What if we say the word ‘nanoparticles’ or something and he wakes up and doesn’t remember anything that’s happened since then,”  
“Maybe it was Spock,” someone jokingly suggested and sent the whole table into uproarious laughter.  
“That’s more outrageous than O’Connor’s hypnosis theory. Can you imagine?”  
All conversation and laughter stopped dead when Kirk walked into the rec room. He got his chicken sandwich and sat next to Bones.  
“You know a guy can really get a complex when every time he walks into a room, it goes silent,”  
“All you have to do is tell them what happened on shore leave and they’ll stop,”  
“Nothing happened on shore leave, Bones, I’ve told you that. I just had a few restful days to myself,” his smile was back with a vengeance as he ran his thumb mindlessly along the gold band, unaware that he was even doing it.  
“You know no one believes that, right? You haven’t stopped smiling in weeks and you’re wearing an actual wedding band. It’s not exactly subtle,”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Bones,” he beamed at the doctor who rolled his eyes and shook his head, accepting that Jim would tell him when he was ready. He already knew of course- _they think they’re being subtle, but everytime they look at each other they’re undressing each other with their eyes_ , Bones thought. Nevertheless, Bones was determined to act like he knew nothing until one of them told him- let them have their little secret, enjoy the thrill of it, until they were able to be open about it. It was good to see Jim so happy and to know that deep down, under the layers of Vulcan emotional control, Spock felt all the same emotions as everyone else.

Kirk dutifully reported to medbay at the time Doctor McCoy had requested for a physical. Jim felt like he had to get a physical every other day, but he tried to remember that it was just Bones caring for him in the only way he knew how. They nearly collided in the doorway when McCoy was trying to leave at the same time Jim walked in.  
“Jim, I forgot I asked you to come. Think you can meet me back here in about twenty minutes? Nurse Chapel and I have to process this in the lab, and it’s pretty time sensitive,” he held up a vial of blue viscous liquid.  
“Of course, Bones, take your time. I’ll be here when you get back,”  
“Thanks, Jim,” he said with a friendly smile and a pat on the shoulder.  
The second McCoy has left the room, his mind started racing. Twenty minutes. The room would be completely empty for twenty minutes.  
“Kirk to bridge. Mr. Spock please see me in sick bay,”  
“On my way, Captain,”  
As soon as the door slid closed behind Spock, Kirk grabbed hold of him and began ravishing his lips.  
“How much time has passed since I called you down here, Mr. Spock?”  
“One minute and twenty seven seconds,” the matter of fact response was followed by a sharp gasp as Jim ground himself into Spock’s hips.  
“Well then, that means we have approximately eighteen minutes alone. Can you think of anything we can possibly do to pass the time?” In response, Spock lifted him off the ground and placed him down on the edge of one of the beds, and tore off his shirt while Jim fumbled with his own pants. Spock kissed him hard and nimbly undid the fastening with his long fingers. He tried to pull his hand back, but Jim wouldn’t allow it. He grabbed Spock’s retreating wrist and brought it back to his waistline. Once he was sure that Spock wouldn’t pull back again, he worked Spock’s pants open as well. It was a difficult task to complete when his mind tried to solely focus on the hand that slowly-so painfully slowly- made its way to the ache between his legs; but James T. Kirk would never let it be said that he was a selfish lover-not that Spock would have said anything anyway. With Spock’s pants finally open, Jim pulled him close, Spock’s pelvis between Jim’s open legs, hip to hip. Jim placed kisses on every inch of his neck and he heard Spock whisper a raspy “Please,”  
He slid off the table where he sat and lowered himself to his knees in front of Spock when they heard the door slide open and McCoy’s voice mumbling about forgetting the most important chemical. They stayed perfectly still as if Bones was a tyrannosaurus rex and wouldn’t be able to see them unless they moved.  
But he did see them. He looked up from across the room and his face exploded with red when he processed the image. Captain of the ship kneeling in front of Spock whose dick was out and hard. That one split second while all three processed their next move seemed interminable. All at the same time, Spock and Kirk straighten themselves out, and redressed quickly and Bones immediately began a string of profanity that would have made a pirate blush.  
“Goddammit, Jim what is wrong with the two of you? You can’t fuck in my medbay. Besides the obvious ‘regulations forbidding relations between officers’ it’s also unsanitary. This is where sick people go. Not to mention _I don’t want to see it,”_  
“Come on, Bones,” Jim tried to interject.  
“Don’t you ‘come on, Bones’ me. That Jim Kirk charm may work on everyone else, but I’ve known you too long. You know this would mean a court martial. For both of you. Effectively ending _both_ of your careers. Then _I’d_ be the one stuck having to deal with a new Captain and a new first officer. Though maybe that wouldn’t be so bad because maybe they wouldn’t be such raging morons who try to have sex in my medbay where _I_ have to see it,”  
“In the captain’s defense, Doctor, you did tell him that you wouldn’t be in the room for another 13.45 minutes,”  
“Defense? Do you think that ‘I didn’t know my chief medical officer would catch me about to get my first office off’ will hold up in court?”  
“Bones,” Jim half laughed while reaching forward to take hold of Spock’s hand and interlace their fingers.  
“Don’t hold hands in front of me. I’m a Doctor, I know what that is for Vulcans. You don’t seem to be understanding just how serious this is. And now I’m part of it too. I’m part of your lie. You can never do this again. I mean it. Make me a promise right now that you will never do anything nearly as stupid and irresponsible and dangerous as this,”  
“You have my word, Bones. We will never do anything this stupid ever again,”  
“No, I want to hear it from him. Vulcans can’t lie,” He said with a smug smirk. He looked like a chess player who was sure his next move would allow him to achieve checkmate.  
“You aren’t insinuating, I hope, that Captain Kirk would lie about something so serious,”  
“You can’t half truth your way out of this, Spock. This is serious,”  
“You are correct, Doctor. And you have my word that neither the captain nor I ever intend to be caught in this position again,”  
From the corner of his eye, Kirk caught the glint of mischief that passed over his features for only a split second. The half truth would succeed, as it always did. All he promised to the good doctor was that he never planned to be caught again. He tried not to grin as Bones shifted his attention.  
“Now, don’t think I’m not happy for you,” he still sounded angry, but it was probably just the residual anger still in his system from seeing what he had seen, “I’ve been wondering when you two would realize your own damn feelings. But I’m serious. Never again. And certainly not where I’m in a position to see _that_ again,”  
“Thank you, Doctor McCoy,” Spock said with a sincerity in his voice. He was right. He could end both of their careers with just a word.  
He nodded in response, “Now please get back to the bridge. And Jim don’t bother coming back for your physical. I need at least three days to try to forget the image of you about to suck a green dick before I can even think about being your doctor,”  
“Thank you, Bones. I’m sorry we had to drag you into this. But at least now you know! It’s been hardest keeping it from you,”  
McCoy rolled his eyes and almost smiled, “I still never want to see either of you naked ever again,”  
Jim laughed and left the room with Spock close behind. He considered dragging Spock back to his quarters but they had to get back to the bridge. If they were gone much longer, their absence would be noticed and questioned. They held hands in the turbo lift and stole a kiss before the doors opened to the bridge.  
After their shift ended, they walked together to the Captain’s quarters and said their cordial goodbyes, and went into their own rooms. They both stepped into the shared bathroom between their quarters at the same time, but neither let their footsteps stutter. As if they had been planning to meet in this way, they rushed at each other, lips crashing together and hands grabbing for purchase. They had spent the whole day so close they could have touched, but neither dared. Neither would admit it, but they were both mildly shaken from being caught by Bones. They would tell Starfleet and fill out the forms and go through the proper procedures eventually, but for now they just wanted to enjoy each other, and make up for all the chances missed through the day. Jim trailed a finger from the point of Spock’s ear, and followed the curved all the way down his jawline, before bringing their lips together again. Spock ground their hips together feeling Jim’s need mingled with his own. He guided Jim backward to bring them into his quarters. Jim bumped his shoulder on the door way and let out a small gasp from the pain. Spock placed a gentle kiss on the top of his shoulder and looked up at him through his eyelashes.  
“I need you,” Jim whispered. “I’ve been craving your touch all day. I didn’t think I’d be able to control myself on the bridge and I can’t wait any longer,”  
Spock moaned into his neck and laid him on the bed, then crawled on top of him flinging clothes across the room as he went.  
_Bridge to Captain Kirk, urgent message from Starfleet- we are to change course to land on an unexplored planet in the delta system,_ Uhura's voice came through the speaker.  
“It appears you will have to wait a little while longer,” Spock said, voice hoarse with need.  
“Let’s just ignore it. Let them handle it for a while,”  
Spock grinned still on his knees straddling him, “As enjoyable as that would be, you are still the captain. Your duty to this ship must come first,”  
“But… I don’t wanna,” he whined.  
Spock caressed his face, “Soon,” he whispered and climbed off.  
_Bridge to Captain Kirk, please acknowledge,_  
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Jim threw his head back onto the pillow. He slammed the button with a little more force than necessary, “Acknowledged, Bridge. On my way. I’ll alert Mr. Spock,”  
Kirk continued his grumbling and complaining as he collected his uniform from the floor, and Spock couldn’t control his grin as he pulled his black undershirt over his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excerpt from chapter 2  
> "Through the fog Jim could see something moving. It was large and fast and coming toward him. The sparse plant life gave him no shelter. There was nothing he could do except try to contact the ship. He switched the frequencies and continued hailing. Likely whatever this storm was, was blocking his signal, and scrambling the transporter. He was so focused on the communicator he had forgotten about whatever it was moving toward him. In slow-motion, he looked up and was nose to nose with it..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Spock beam down to an unexplored planet before a storm hit.

Newly discovered, and never visited planets, these were the missions that Jim loved best. This was when he really got to feel like an explorer, like he was doing something to expand the knowledge of the universe and make a difference. He looked at the image on the screen with wonder. How beautiful it was. The oceans were a crimson red, he would have to remember to ask Spock why.  
“Mr. Spock, report,”  
“A breathable oxygen atmosphere, somewhat thinner than Earth’s. Current temperature at one hundred and five degrees Fahrenheit. No intelligent life, however there does appear to be a variety of animal species,”  
“Very good thank you,” His gaze lingered on Spock for a few extra moments as he continued to read the incoming information from the sensors. He still couldn’t fully believe how lucky he had gotten. Knowing that he loved and was loved by Spock made the expanse of the universe feel a little less lonely. “You and I will beam down with a security detail and the new chief biologist, what was his name again?”  
“Lieutenant Brooks, Captain,”  
“Of course, thank you. Kirk to security, prepare a party to be beamed down with Mr. Spock, Lieutenant Brooks and myself. We’ll meet in the transporter room in ten minutes. Kirk out,” he turned to Spock and asked “Are you ready, Mr. Spock?”  
“Affirmative, Captain,” The elevator provided a few moments alone, but they promised Bones to be extra careful about not getting caught, so again, they did nothing more than brush their hands together just to feel the spark of electricity and get a glimpse of each other’s overwhelming love through the bond.  
The party transported down without incident. The dark grey sand made a striking contrast to the almost blood red sea. Spock began taking samples and scanning just about anything he could, occasionally stopping to mutter “fascinating” before continuing his studies. A small rodent like creature, no more than three inches long with ears twice the size of it’s head scurried up to Kirk and stood on its hind legs to stare up at him. Its comically large ears twitched and its nose scrunched as it tried to assess how dangerous the large unknown species was. Jim stood still, allowing it to make its decision, but hoping not to scare it off. He liked the looks of the funny little creature. It sniffed a moment more before losing interest and scampered off, not afraid, but not impressed either.  
After several hours of endless scanning and sample taking, Spock approached him, his brow furrowed slightly. Jim looked around to be sure no one was nearby and reached up to touch Spock’s cheek. He unconsciously leaned into the hand and his face relaxed slightly, but he still looked concerned.  
“Captain, there is something interfering with my tricorder. May I suggest that we all beam aboard again? If there is some kind of storm coming that my scanners are not picking up, we would not want to be caught in it,”  
“That’s a good idea. I think we’ve been here long enough anyway,”  
“Kirk to landing party. Meet at the rendezvous point and prepare to beam aboard,” Once again, checking to make sure no one could see him, he put his arms around Spock and kissed him with fervor. “I can’t believe I ever had to live without you. I don’t know how I made it,”  
“Never and always, touching and touched,” Spock whispered as a reminder of the bond they had begun and would make complete during the bonding ceremony that would take place on Vulcan and brought their hands together.  
Kirk smiled and kissed the point where their hands met. “We should probably get back to the rendezvous point. That was the Captain’s orders,”  
Spock raised his eyebrows and the corners of his lips tugged up slightly. Jim laughed and together they walked toward the rendezvous point.  
“Oh, Mr. Spock, I was wondering what makes the water red?”  
“A microorganism of some kind; once I run more tests, I will know more about it, however I wouldn’t recommend bathing in it,” Spock teased.  
Jim loved these private moments with Spock where he could feel like he could tease Jim, when Spock let down his defences and allowed himself to be a little more human. He grabbed Spock’s hand and brought his palm up to his lips one final time before they were in view of the crew.  
“Kirk to transporter room, prepare to beam up landing party,” he said into his communicator once everyone had arrived.  
“There’s some kinda storm coming in affecting all of our systems. I couldn’t risk bringing more than one aboard at a time,”  
“Whenever you’re ready, Scotty, start with Mr. Brooks, bringing myself last. Kirk out,”  
“Captain, if I may, you are the most irreplaceable person on the ship, perhaps I should go aboard last,” Spock suggested. Brooks was already on the _Enterprise_ , and the security detail was next.  
“You-I mean my crew is too important. I have to take care of them first. Scotty is quick. We’ll all be on board in no time,” the wind suddenly began to pick up, and an eerie red fog crept around their ankles.  
“Jim,” The last crewman was beamed up. Spock was next.  
“It will be fine. I love you. I’ll see you again in thirty seconds,” he quickly pecked Spock’s lips and took a step away. Then he was alone. Ten seconds passed, twenty, thirty, a whole minute passed and still he was standing on the dark sand in the wind and fog. “Kirk to _Enterprise_ , come in _Enterprise_ ,” no response.  
Through the fog he could see something moving. It was large and fast and coming toward him. The sparse plant life gave him no shelter. There was nothing he could do except try to contact the ship. He switched the frequencies and continued hailing. Likely whatever this storm was, was blocking his signal, and scrambling the transporter. He was so focused on the communicator he had forgotten about whatever it was moving toward him. In slowmotion, he looked up and was nose to nose with it, before it slammed heavy front feet into his chest knocking him to the ground. 

Spock was beamed aboard the _Enterprise_ before he was able to return Jim’s declaration of love. “Bring the Captain up immediately,” he said, perhaps a little too harshly, to Lieutenant Kyle.  
“Aye sir,” he followed proper procedure, but nothing happened. Spock’s heart stuttered in his side. He nudged Kyle out of the way and attempted to do it himself, but with the same results: nothing.  
He slammed the communication button “ _Enterprise_ to Captain Kirk,” nothing “ _Enterprise_ to Captain Kirk,”  
“This storm must have thrown something off. I’ll get a repair crew immediately,”  
“Keep me updated,” he started to make he way to the bridge when he felt something slam into his chest so hard it nearly knocked him over. No, not his own chest. _Jim_. He turned back to Kyle. “Updated on everything Mr. Kyle. Even if it seems unimportant,”  
“Aye, sir,”  
Back on the bridge, he relieved Mr. Scott of command. “Find the Captain’s signal and lock on. The second the transporters are back online he is to be brought on the ship,”  
“We’re trying sir, but this storm… it’s blocking everything. I can't even get a life form reading. I am calibrating now and working on repairs,” said Chekov who had taken over Spock’s station. He understood that it was nothing to do with Chekov, but he didn’t want to hear that there was nothing they could do. He was sure that he appeared calm, but his mind was nearing panic. Calculations sped through his head. The ache in his chest told him that Jim was still alive, but hurt, perhaps even dying somewhere alone on an unknown planet. He couldn’t let that happen.  
Suddenly they were thrown across the bridge. Whatever this storm was, it was dangerous.  
“Lieutenant Uhura, try to get a fix on his communicator. I want every available means being used to find the Captain,”  
“Yes, sir,”  
He could feel the panic taking over his mind. He was useless to Jim like this. He had to control it. He took stock of the symptoms: erratic heart beat, shortness of breath, flushed face. He took a moment to control it. Compartmentalize it to where it could be addressed at a later time. He forced his heart to slow and regulated his breath. It wasn’t perfect but it would have to do. He touched the chain that hung from his neck and allowed his hand to travel to the ring. His finger traced the edge, willing it to strengthen the bond between them enough that he would be able to find him.  
Doctor McCoy made his way onto the bridge and stood by the com chair, “Once we’re out of this I expect you to see me for a physical. Your Vulcan physiology may have reacted differently but everyone on the landing party is fine,”  
“Not everyone, Doctor,”  
As if to punctuate his point, Chekov added “Still no sign, sir,”  
Again, they were hit with something and everyone on the bridge was jostled, some fell from their seats.  
“We have to get out of here, Spock,”  
“What do you suggest? Leave J- our Captain on an alien world where he is hurt and likely dying?”  
“You can’t know that,”  
Spock looked at him gravely, “I do know,” he said while touching the gold band.  
“I’m not saying leave him. I’m simply suggesting that Jim knew what he was signing up for. Both when he signed up for Starfleet and when he joined the landing party on this mission. He wouldn’t want us to stay in orbit and put all 430 lives on board this ship in danger,”  
“And then what? Come back in twelve hours when the probability of him being dead is approximately 7834.8 to 1?” He gripped the chain too tightly and it broke causing the ring itself to come loose. He didn't see where it went. First he lost Jim, and now his only tangible connection to Jim. The panic seeped into his bones again and this time, he feared he would not be able to control it or push it aside. He realized that more than just his chest hurt now. A dull ache throbbed in one wrist and it felt like he had been stabbed in his abdomen.  
“It might help if you wear it- you can’t lose it that way,” he heard Chekov’s voice through his cloudy mind. He looked up and Chekov stood with a hand extended toward him, with something shiny and gold in between his fingers. “It’s only logical,” He concluded with a grin when Spock hesitated.  
“Of course, Mr Chekov. Thank you,” The panic eased when the ring was on his finger. It was as if Jim was close. He refused to let it end this way. Jim had promised him forever, this alien world would not allow him to break that promise.  
“Transporter room to bridge. It’s jury rigged, but it’ll hold for one transport,” Mr. Scott’s news helped to relieve the tension in Spock’s chest.  
“Mr. Spock,” Uhura cut his thoughts short, “I’m picking up a signal from a communicator. It’s weak, but it’s there. It’s him sir. We found him,”  
“Beam him aboard immediately. Doctor McCoy with me to the transporter room,”  
He didn’t even wait for a reply to either order before stepping into the elevator. He stood in the elevator restlessly, waiting. It needed to go faster. He needed to get to Jim. His hands twitched and he spun the band around his finger.  
When the door opened, Spock sprinted to the transporter room, leaving McCoy behind. Any remnants of a calm exterior were completely gone but it didn’t matter. What mattered was Jim getting home safely. He was barely through the door when he heard the buzzing of the transporter starting up. He stood anxiously at the bottom of the platform, desperate to see Jim appear and smile at him, unhurt. It was illogical. If he was unhurt, the pains in Spock’s chest and just about everywhere else would have subsided. He wouldn’t have needed to put the whole crew in danger to go on a mad chase over an entire planet to find him. As soon as he started taking shape, Spock knew something was desperately wrong. Jim was bruised and bleeding all over. His shirt was in tatters-even more so than after his usual hand to hand fights. He held one hand cradled close to his chest, and his legs looked like they were about to buckle under his own weight. The fog on the planet had left him coated in something red and slightly sticky.  
The instant before he was fully materialized Spock was on the platform telling someone-anyone- to get Doctor McCoy to hurry. The beam receded and Jim tumbled forward. He would have fallen hard if Spock hadn’t been ready. He caught him in his waiting arms, Jim’s legs couldn’t seem to hold any weight at all. He opened his eyes, but they were far away and distant. As they stood there, Spock holding Jim in place until McCoy arrived, Spock forgot about every other crew member in the room and pressed his lips to Jim’s temple.  
“I thought I lost you,” he whispered.  
The crew gathered around, even those who had pieced together the secret were shocked by this outward display of emotion from their Vulcan commander. They stood still and silent until McCoy came bursting through the crowd and without prompting or questions, he pulled Jim’s arm around his shoulder and flicked his gaze to Spock.  
“I can carry him, Doctor,”  
“I wouldn’t do that. I don’t want his spine bending anymore than necessary,” the fear took a former hold in Spock’s eyes.  
“He should be fine. Let’s just get him to sick bay,” but the doctor didn’t look as sure as he tried to sound. Nevertheless, Spock nodded and put a steadying hand on Jim’s chest and gently started half dragging half carrying him out of the room.  
“Spock,” Jim croaked. Spock inhaled hard.  
“Yes, T’hy’la,”  
“Your finger… you’re wearing your wedding ring,” he grinned up up Spock, his eyes still hazy and far away, but perhaps a little clearer than before. His head lolled back onto Spock’s shoulder and he closed his eyes again.  
In sickbay, they placed him on the bed, and Spock stroked his face.  
“I think maybe you should get back to the bridge. I’ll keep you updated,”  
“Doctor,” He began, “I… I can’t leave him,”  
“Alright but stay out of my way, or I’ll have security drag you away,”  
Spock allowed the Doctor to work, while always keeping one hand somewhere on Jim, his hand, his face, anywhere the doctor wasn’t working.  
The captain was fading in and out of consciousness for 46.71 hours.  
“I’m sorry Jim,” Spock whispered when McCoy had stepped away for a moment, “I shouldn’t have let you stay behind. Please come back to me,”  
Jim leaned into his hand, “Don’t blame yourself. It was my order that you go first. And besides, I’m not going anywhere. I told you- you’re stuck with me forever,” he croaked, voice hoarse from disuse.  
“Stuck would imply that I do not want that. Jim, that is all that I want, and more than I could have hoped for,” he pressed his lips to Jim’s forehead and quickly pulled away.  
“Come back here,” He lifted himself onto his elbows to bring their lips together gently.  
“No canoodling in my sickbay,” McCoy came back and swatted them apart “Don’t make me call security,” he teased with a grin.  
“I’m feeling much better, Bones, I think I’m fit for duty,”  
“In a pig’s eye you are,”  
“I quite agree with the Doctor, Jim. You need to rest,”  
“So do you,” McCoy interjected “you haven’t left this sick bay in two days. I don’t care that you’re a Vulcan. Get some sleep. You can use another bed in here,”  
“Thank you, Bones. You’re a real lifesaver,” Jim winked.  
“Glad to see you’re back to your irritating self. I’ll check in soon. I refuse to give you a time frame because of what happened last time I left you alone in here. Get some rest. Both of you. That’s an order,” and he was gone.  
“Well an order is an order, Mr. Spock,” Jim said, making room on the tiny bed and patting the small space next to him. Spock offered no resistance, climbing immediately onto the bed and allowed Jim to snuggle into his side. They dozed together until the were both snoring softly.  
A few days later when they were orbiting Fetes IV to pick up supplies, McCoy had approved Jim to walk around the _Enterprise_. Physical therapy he called it, but Jim knew that it was McCoy’s way of allowing them some time together without nurses or doctors hovering nearby. Spock held his hand as they walked to the observation deck. They sat for a few moments in silence, Jim resting his head on Spock’s shoulder, watching as the sun peeked out from behind the planet. A group of young crewmen walked behind them, but neither of them moved. The secret was out, there was no point in hiding anymore. They would figure out their next move soon, but for now they would just sit there quietly, soaking each other in and enjoy the sunrise.


End file.
